It is thirty years ago today (and to the day) that I took my first ballet class.

It was a warm summer evening and although it had been a dream of mine for a while, and time has done its thing and changed most of what we once were, I can still feel how my legs trembled as I entered the ballet studio, dressed in black tights and a tight white t-shirt for the first time.

It seemed to be a big studio, although today I am not sure if it really was. I remember my mother giving me a slight pat on the back as I went in and introduced my self to the teacher; as I did, I caught a glimpse at the rest of the students and realized they were all girls, most of them a bit older than me and therefore expert dancers to my young eyes. This was the first hint I had that what I was about to embark in was a strange and different world, that I had no idea about it and that age did matter.

Many years later, I still find myself in the situation, although with absolute certainty now, that the ballet world is a strange and different world and that age no doubt does matter.

I close to being forty now and although in normal professions and normal life styles, a man my age might still be considered as a young man, in the profession I chose and the people I relate with it is already an advanced age.

Most of my contemporaries are thinking about hanging their ballet slippers or have done so already a few years back. It is just the way most professions based on physical activity are and a known fact in ballet since the first time you consider it as a profession.

I am a ballet impresario, so the passage of time does not really affect me in the same way as it affects dancers. It surely affects me, although it is not a deal breaker when it comes to the development and advancing of my career. Many would think, and I would agree, that age favors it more than really affects it. The more experience I have the more experience in the art of deal making I develop, the bigger data base I can amass, and the more credibility, knowledge and know how I can muster.

It is hard nevertheless, when you see your loved ones face the studio mirror dressed as civilians and the doubt flood not only their faces but their souls.

Ends are never easy. Nevertheless, to be honest, ends are not ends but a possibility to change.

Vladimir had slowly stopped dancing and doing less on stage. His works is basically devoted nowadays to activities behind stage as directing the Tokyo Ballet or the Malakhov Foundation. Nevertheless, making the decision of getting off the stage was not easy. Of course, it always helps when you have something to fall back in to, which was his case, but not that of most.

What do I do with my life once my career is over? How do I face the fact that I am not useful anymore? That for what I was trained, and for what I devoted my life to is passed and gone? How do I face the fact that I am disposable?

All these questions are questions that most dancers at a certain age have asked themselves. And to which most dancers do not find an easy answer or at least not during the first phase of their inevitable change.

I tend to believe that change is always positive and that it must be embraced. I also believe, nevertheless, that in this particular case change should be guided with the objective of not only easing the pain but of protecting people who have devoted their lives to dance.

Most theaters and their ballet companies only see the sustainability of their business through exploitation of their assets, but forget that the essence of their business is not only artists but people, humans with more regrets than assertions and more doubts than certainties.

Why is it then that at the moment of reaching certain age most dancers are thrown in the can just like garbage?

I have come to understand that ballet is probably one of the least humane art forms not only because it destroys your body but because once its destroyed there is nothing or little left to do with it.

I believe in building more than destroying in the same way that I believe more in planting than in sowing and I believe that ballet companies should devote at least part of their efforts if not attention in protecting them who have been the support of their institutions. I also believe that once a dancer always a dancer and that the only difference between an eighteen year old dancer and a forty year old is only rep.

Lets not eliminate autumn smiles because we think spring laughter is maybe brighter. Some of the brightest dancers I know are close to fifty. Every time I see Benvindo Fonseca dance my eyes weep with emotions, every time I see Baryshnikov perform I think he is looking better; every time I see Vladimir perform I understand why he is who he is.

Lets change but more importantly lets help those who are forced to change to do it with dignity and hope. Lest give helping hands instead of taking them away. Behind every dancer there is a family, there is love and dreams. Let’s not cut them short. Time goes by like rabbits for all. Time goes by like rabbits anyways.

Paul Seaquist_Interview En L'air

At Vladimir Malakhov´s Farewell show in Berlin.

 


Main photo: www.thisiswhyimbroke.com