Everything I write about it’s originated from questions that I ask myself and I usually struggle to find answers for.  This time though I have very clear ideas as well as solutions…

I don’t know what it takes to feel good, but I do know what I don’t want to be part of my life…

…judgement…

An easy path to take. And more than judging ourselves (a different topic to be taken separately), today I want to reflect on the judgement we suffer from others.

This is really something we all share as human beings, but at the same time is unfortunately a source of division and intolerance.

We are not born with bitterness in our judgement, we just do it out of habit; to free us from our frustrations or to get attention.

As kids we are told what is good and bad, perhaps omitting certain nuances.

And so we keep opining on everything…without anyone’s ever asking for it.

Obviously the act of judging is not always a bad thing, but even when it is positive, it is not a fact, but synonymous of ‘opinion’.

So why do we care so much?

Why do we give to a simple opinion, a negative connotation? And above all, who do we think we are to use this “power” against someone?

I believe judging is a close relative of the innate confidence we have towards our neighbor.

And in fact, for better or for worse, we care about the criticism of our relatives, friends, people close to us who lighten or darken our lives with their words.

If I trust and respect you, your opinion will be more important to me than even mine.

And yet I know myself more than you know me…

Likewise, my behavior will be impacted by your judgement, my evolution will depend in some way on you.

The saddest memories of my life are related to the cruel words of others.

A gesture can hurt a little, a word can be as sharp as a sword… Even if truth is only partial in judgment, sometimes nonexistent. What we are told is not an absolute truth. It remains nothing more then “a subjective interpretation”, more so when it comes from a rumor, and become prejudice.

How many times have we heard four versions of the same story, and at the end our criticism has been the result of the sum of all these stories?

And we are talking about lives of people fighting their own battles, of which we know nothing!

What are we doing?

We are moving away from love. We are so busy overthinking that we forget to feel, to understand, to forgive. We forget that people around us, even the one person you would not want to share anything with, struggles, in his own way, to overcome barriers day after day.

Surviving ourselves is our biggest obstacle, and we don’t need to top it up with judgmental people.

  Judging a work of art or a show in the theater is different, despite still created by men. Right now you can criticize and opine what I do or how I perform, but in no case you can judge me as a person. Inside each of us there is a soul to explore in depth. We are as fragile as shining precious crystals, that without appropriate treatment, lose their luster and become dull.

And this is not why we are on Earth for. I firmly believe that we are all here to undertake a far more complex journey, that if crossed with respect should not leave room for useless opinions.

Surely we will all be in a situation where we feel empowered to criticize a person, and it is at that very moment that we should ask ourselves these questions: does his path hinder ours? Would our lives be better off by judging others? Most certainly the answer is no!

And even if it wasn’t so, why would we do it?

We spread words in the wind, then somehow the current brings them back …

So starting from here, it would be smart to put aside our arguments and focus our energy into something productive for ourselves.

Men in general judge more by the sense of sight than by the sense of touch, because everyone can see but few can test by feeling. Everyone sees what you seem to be, few know what you really are.

(Niccolò Machiavelli)

I usually don’t quote because words are meant to be read in the right context, but I can not express more clearly this concept. It is in fact quite a matter of senses.

Our society is losing humanity. That feeling that holds us back from giving unwanted advices, frees us from unnecessary words and gestures.

I want to believe that we are capable of not judging.

I want to believe that the strength to improve our relation with others, that makes us complicit with each others and fills us with empathy, lies within us.

At the end of the day, we all come to the world in the same way, we make our mistakes, sometimes we acknowledge them, sometimes we don’t … but these mistakes are what makes us similar.

We can always listen to what others say, but we know what we are worth and we should have the courage to stand for it.

We can evolve but we must stay true to our roots.

We should only fear the lack of strength to support ourselves.

And our confidence can kill other’s judgement.